Scratch the movies; no relationships are perfect. And sadly for you, the exciting phase is over. There will come a time when some rough patches appear between you and your partner. When the newness of the relationship wears off, what’s next for you?
Sometimes things work out, and other times they don’t. Well, it’s always better to talk with your partner if you feel something isn’t going right now. But if you’re unsure of how you feel and don’t know where to go, you probably need a break. It doesn’t necessarily mean “breaking up”; you just need a break from the relationship, your partner, and everything in between.
The problem is, you’re not sure if you really need a break or you just want some small space for your own time and peace of mind to think. Do you need to have a “talk” with your partner finally?
If you’re still unsure, here are some signs that your relationship might need a break for a while.
1. Everything seems annoying
We’re not always happy with the people around us, no matter how close we are to them. Sometimes, you will get annoyed over your partner’s actions, and it’s normal. But, if you find yourself losing patience with every little thing they do, even those that didn’t bother you before, then perhaps something is wrong. When our tolerance for our partner drops, it can become messy because fights can break out at any time.
Annoyance can indicate something like a lack of support or feelings not being met. When you constantly get annoyed, it can mentally drain you and worsen the status of the relationship. If you’re feeling this towards your partner, try to get some space, a few days of being alone. If you meet again and still feel the same, it’s better to talk about it and take a break if needed.
2. You’re almost like a light switch
Are you guys like some of those couples? You’re always caught in an “on-and-off” cycle in your relationship. One moment, there’s sweetness and butterflies in the air; the next, you’re at each other’s throats. If you keep going on and off, maybe it’s time to take a real break and see your relationship from a different perspective.
Being in these kinds of relationships shows that the couple can’t solve problems properly. Take a break, think about the root cause of the situation, and assess if the connection is still worth fighting for.
3. You’re happy to be away
You keep coming up with excuses to avoid staying in one place with your partner. Dinner dates getting canceled paired with a frequent sleepover on your friend’s unit sure are suspicious. You may not know the reason, but you feel better and more relaxed if they’re not around, and that alone could be a sign.
If this pattern continues for longer than a week, you need to dig deeper into your emotions. Do you simply need space to finish some personal stuff, or should you opt for a break so you can think better and see if your relationship is going anywhere?
4. Days are too silent
The getting to know you phase is probably over now, so you’re stuck with nothing. At first, there was the excitement of learning more. But now, unless you have something very important to say, it’s impossible to get the both of you to talk for very long. You don’t get excited over your conversations, and sometimes even those dull convos can turn into fights, even if your phone only rings because of friends, family, and work.
If the silence between you and your partner becomes unbearable and awkward, not comforting, then maybe something is wrong. Take a break and come back if you’re ready to re-ignite the spark or see if you can still work it out or not.
5. Dry season
When was the last time you had an intimate moment with your partner? Sex is not the basis of love, but if you’re a sexually active couple and suddenly one of you starts going cold, it’s not weird to think it’s weird. There are several reasons for that, like stress, overwork, or sickness.
If both you and your partner can’t figure out a reason as to why you can’t get it on the bed anymore, then it’s about time to talk about it. Sex shouldn’t be a chore, and both couples must enjoy the act instead of just doing it to maintain the status of the relationship. Maybe a break will help you realize where things went awry in your sexual life and relationship.
6. Fights become petty
Relationships will always experience a fight. You can’t avoid a conflict breaking out somewhere in the time you’ve been together. But there are “reasonable” fights and there are petty fights. If you feel like the arguments are becoming too petty, that you even find it ridiculous, then maybe you need to step back a little for now.
We get it; that was the last milk in the fridge, but is it worth the shouts and hurtful comments? Too much fighting, especially if it’s unreasonable, can be toxic to the couple involved. Take a break from each other and reflect on it.
7. No future ahead
You know those moments when you lie in bed and think about the future, your plans and goals, but your partner isn’t present in that? Or maybe you talked with your partner, and you are not on the same page. If you feel like your future plans have changed and you don’t see any of those with your partner, then it definitely calls for a break.
Explore what you really want and let the other person explore what they want. If you both feel that there is too much uncertainty in the future of your relationship and you don’t know how to move it forward anymore, that’s a sign that something is wrong. Stagnant relationships can create problems in the future if not solved. Both partners in the relationship will feel like they’re not growing and they’re not getting anything from each other anymore.
It’s not easy to have a conversation with your partner about taking a break. Other people may take it differently and won’t accept it easily. However, if you feel like nothing is working out and need some space, then follow your heart, but you must understand that some breaks can result in a full-on breakup. Offering a break to your partner comes with a risk, so it’s better to set boundaries on that break that both of you agreed upon. Relationships aren’t easy, and no experience can really teach you the right way to do things. You just need to toughen up and do what feels right for you.
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